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[ 10 x 25 x 05 x 12:40 pm ] |
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| movies: a summary of 2005 |
[ 9 x 5 x 05 x 11:44 am ] |
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Let's face it: When it came to the movies, it wasn't the best of summers for anyone. Box-office slumps kept Hollywood executives wringing their hands. Still, it was worse for us moviegoers: Hollywood didn't give us much reason to hit the theaters and help end the slump. However, if you looked hard enough, there were a couple of bright spots amid the gloom. With that in mind, we offer a look back at the best and worst of summer 2005.
And be warned: There are spoilers below.
We Love Crazy Women! Insane chicks ruled this summer. The previously-mentioned Isla Fisher nearly stole "Wedding Crashers" (the look on her face during the now-famous dinner-table scene was the funniest moment of the summer). Meanwhile, Amy Adams' manic child-woman lit up "Junebug," and Natalie Press and Emily Blunt, in "My Summer of Love," played the creepiest teen lesbians since "Heavenly Creatures."
Hottest Chemistry: If there were any doubts about Brad and Angelina being an item, they were clearly dispelled when viewers saw them torch the screen in "Mr. and Mrs. Smith."
Best Ending: "The 40 Year-Old Virgin" featured the entire cast acting out a musical number ("Aquarius") from "Hair" in celebration of Andy's deflowering. The sight of Seth Rogen dancing shirtless still has us laughing.
Best Twist Ending: "The Skeleton Key."
Worst Ending: "War of the Worlds." Leave it to Spielberg to ruin a film. The man just doesn't have the guts to finish any other way than with a fantastically happy ending. So, let us get this straight: Billions of people died when Mars attacked, yet everyone in Tom Cruise's family -- including his son, who ran headlong into a blazing hillside battle -- survived? Lame.
Most Romantic Film: Hands, er, wings down: "March of the Penguins." While we're at it, has there ever been a better narrator than Morgan Freeman? "Million Dollar Baby," "Shawshank Redemption," "War of the Worlds" ... eat that, James Earl Jones!
Worst Summer for a Studio: Sony. You know you're in trouble when two of your early 2005 releases ("Guess Who" and "Are We There Yet?") gross more than your summer "blockbuster," "Bewitched." Other Sony duds this summer included "Stealth," "Lords of Dogtown" and "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo." Now, when is "Spider-Man 3" opening again?
Most Welcome Use of T&A: Jessica Simpson's everything in "The Dukes of Hazzard" and Chris Evans' overexposed chest in "Fantastic Four."
Laziest Filmmaking: Don Roos, "Happy Endings." Roos has no idea how to make a tapestry film. Instead of letting us get to know his characters through acting and insightful dialogue, he used smarmy intertitles for exposition. That touch was needlessly self-conscious and a big clue that Roos lacks the talent to make this type of film.
Most Welcome Return: Lynda Carter. The former "Wonder Woman" had cameos in "The Dukes of Hazzard" and "Sky High." Now if only they could have given her more lines...
Most Unnecessary Comeback: No, not Burt Reynolds ... again. This time it's a car. Did we really need another Herbie movie? Apparently not, as the film failed to crack the top three during its opening week and took a quick ride out of the top 10 from there.
Crazy Angles: Katie Holmes was obviously taller than a number of her "Batman Begins" co-stars, so the filmmakers resorted to odd angles to disguise the fact in her scenes.
Slumming It: John Cusack in "Must Love Dogs," Jamie Foxx in "Stealth" and Michael Keaton and Matt Dillon in "Herbie: Fully Loaded."
Most Fascinating Character: Timothy Treadwell, "Grizzly Man." Werner Herzog hit the nutjob jackpot with this man who lived with bears for decades before finally getting eaten by one of them. Treadwell's on-screen rants are comical, sad, uncomfortable and crazy -- all at the same time.
Best Movie Drinking Game: Take a swig every time Ashlee Simpson looks directly into the camera in "Undiscovered." She thinks she's in a music video and you'll get wasted.
Worst Use Of Special Effects: Adam Sandler's passes in "The Longest Yard."
Worst Nightmare for the Chamber of Commerce: The one thing that struck audiences after seeing "Dark Water" wasn't how scary this supposed horror flick was, but how dreadful the location was. Shot on Roosevelt Island in New York City, the locale was dark, wet, gloomy and dreary, and would make anyone look for a bottle of sleeping pills within an hour of arriving there.
Best Movie Poster of the Summer: One has to wonder how many drivers swerved off the road staring at the full-body shots of smoking-hot Brad and Angelina on the "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" billboards. Runner up: "March of the Penguins," because who can resist a penguin dad cuddling a baby perched on his little webbed feet.
Scariest Villain of the Summer: "Red Eye" and "Batman Begins" star Cillian Murphy's blue-eyed gaze was enough to bring you to your knees. It's always the nice guys turned evil who are the scariest.
Biggest Brat of the Summer: Hilary Duff. Well, not Duff herself but her nasty character Holly Hamilton in the summer flop "The Perfect Man." Under the pretense of making her mother happy so they wouldn't have to relocate again, Holly masqueraded as a secret (male) admirer, courting her mother through e-mail and instant messenger. Ick factor here: high. She also ruined her friend's uncle's restaurant by turning on the sprinkler system and deluging the place. Awful kid, awful
Most Misunderstood Film: Jim Jarmusch's "Broken Flowers." Many called it dull, said nothing happens in it, and found the ending unsatisfying. Yes, if you expect the solution to the mystery about who fathered Bill Murray's son and who the child is, you'll be disappointed. But that's not the film's point. This film is about an emotionally dead man who's coming, if ever so subtly, back to life. The road trip is emotional. And the mystery? The mystery is women.
Please Go Away: Rob Schneider. Your movies suck. But what's worse is your thin-skinned, childish personal attacks on critics who don't like your movies. Just consider yourself lucky to be working and shut up.
Best Film of the Summer: "Wedding Crashers"
Runners-up: "Murderball" and "Batman Begins"
Worst Film of the Summer: "Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo"
Runners-up: "The Dukes of Hazzard" and "The Longest Yard"
The "Mom, I Don't Want To Take Ballroom Dancing Lessons" Award: To all the kids who will be wishing they were too busy with soccer after their parents saw "Mad Hot Ballroom."
Biggest Box-Office Disappointment: "Murderball" is not only one of the best films of the summer, but of the year. But audiences, obviously fearing another sappy look at disabled people, stayed away. Apparently they ignored the reviews that hailed the film's hilarious humor, camaraderie, intense sports drama and genuine poignancy.
Worst Movie Title: It's a solid tie between "The Island" and "The Constant Gardener." A movie title should pique your interest, and neither of these titles gives cause for more than a cursory glance. The worst offender is "The Constant Gardener," a film about a man seeking the truth about his wife's murder in Africa. How many 70-year-old grandmothers thought they were going to see a story about cultivating roses?
How I Stopped Worrying and Learned to Love the Bomb: First off, hooray for audiences who finally said "enough" to Michael Bay's bombastic theatrics in "The Island," making it the hack's first bomb. Could Bay take it like a man? Of course not! He and the film's producers blamed the actors for the film's failure. Yes, Ewan McGregor and Scarlett Johansson are so untalented.
Best Use of a Body Double: Isla Fisher's hand in "Wedding Crashers." 'Nuff said.
Best Remake: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Worst remake: The Dukes of Hazard
Runner Up: Bad News Bears (I doubt anyone wants to see Billy Bob drunk)
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| psychology test try it |
[ 9 x 4 x 05 x 10:51 pm ] |
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Imagine this in your head:
You are standing outside of a house, your house. Is the house large or small? (mine was small)
You walk inside the house, and in the front hall there is a small table with an object on it. What is it? (a photograph of me and paul)
You walk out back into your backyard, which opens up into a forest. Are there a lot of trees or few? (few)
You walk down a path in the forest, and you find a key on the ground. Do you pick it up? (yes)
You walk a little farther, and you find a cup on the ground. Do you pick it up? (yes)
You keep walking, and you come across an angry-looking bear. What do you do? (cry)
The bear is gone, and you keep walking. You come across a wall. Can you get over it? (no)
This is pretty interesting,
The size of the house represents your ambitions for the future.
The object on the table represents something that is important to you in life, and is pretty much open to interpretation, there is no solid answer.
The number or thickness of the trees represents how many friends you have.
The key and whether you pick it up or not represent opportunity and whether you take it.
Same thing with the cup, which represents friendship.
The bear represents obstacles or problems in life, and your reaction to it is how you deal with problems.
Finally, the wall represents death, and whether you can get over the wall is whether you can deal with or accept death or not.
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| an article written by Maggie Kim that I found interesting |
[ 9 x 4 x 05 x 4:40 pm ] |
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She's snagged a hottie—but will her ego survive? One woman reveals the pros and cons of going out with a very good-looking guy (Hint: It's not as delightful as you might think...).
I love looking at my boyfriend Tim's big brown eyes, fringed with lashes so thick they could easily fan a small child during a summer heat wave. He's got a nose chiseled by some Italian master sculptor, full lips that readily stretch into a sweet, charming grin and just the right amount of sexy, three-day-old stubble. He's 6'3, broad-shouldered and has more style than any straight man ought to; think Ashton Kutcher with a dash of Mr. Big thrown in. And he's all mine. I should be in heaven, right?
Wrong. Call me a whiner, but dating a cute guy isn't all it's cracked up to be. It begins to wreak havoc with a well-established dating dynamic.
In general, women are the ones in a relationship who are expected to turn heads. But with Tim, the tables (and heads) are turned to the point that any self-assured woman would wonder: Is dating a good-looking guy worth it? See for yourself as I describe the highs and lows you'll encounter dating one of them.
High: Your friends think he's hot
It's definitely an ego boost to date a guy whom your friends immediately, and enviously, agree is a babe. I showed him off at a friend's birthday party and, one by one, everyone I knew came up to whisper, "Oh, he's gorgeous." While the approval from my friends was welcome — and puffed up my pride — that bubble was bound to burst once I encountered my next grim realization…
Low: Everyone else thinks he's hot, too
It would be great if only a select few people — trustworthy friends, important relatives, ex-boyfriends — could see how beautiful my beau is. Unfortunately, that's not the case, and lots of other people (including some just plain beautiful women) brazenly eye my man when we're out together. We went shopping recently and were having a great time until a lithe brunette made a beeline for my boyfriend like a sleek cheetah on the hunt. Somehow I managed to drag Tim out of the store before she pounced, but it was close. Not the most enjoyable way to spend a Saturday afternoon.
High: An attractive man gets you plenty of perks
Going out is a lot more fun when you've got the good-looking pass (i.e., my boyfriend) to garner VIP treatment. Many bartenders, waiters, and maître d's are happy to have my boyfriend around, so we have a pretty easy time getting a great table at a high-end restaurant, a drink at a crowded bar, and other preferential treatment won purely through charm and good looks. With the less model-esque men I've dated in the past, I was the one who would try to convince the unimpressed gate-keepers to let us into overbooked nightspots. It's a nice change and a load off my shoulders to be escorting the arm candy in lieu of being it.
Low: You turn into a jealous, territorial lunatic
I never noticed if the men I dated were bothered by whatever attention I got when we went out. I don't think so, maybe because it's expected for a woman to be pretty and admired and that most men get a kick out of being with a girl who people look at. The flipside, however, isn't that fantastic. I don't know if it's because men tend to be more respectful of women who are obviously taken, but I can tell you women practically shove me aside to chit-chat with my guy. The hissing, claws-drawn look probably isn't me at my most attractive…What had happened to the fun, flirty gal I was before I met Tim?
High: You learn that looks aren't that important
While one might think that being with Tim has forced me to double my efforts to look my best, on the contrary, it's made me rethink all the time and money I spend on clothes and primping with expensive beauty products. The reason: I realized that there's always going to be someone who's prettier, taller, younger, and thinner than I am. But that's not why my boyfriend's with me in the first place. He remains smitten by my quirky sense of humor, the songs I write, or my take on international politics. Being with him has made me appreciate — and nurture — my more unique qualities, which have a much longer shelf life than my looks ever will.
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| 5 phrases that will melt her heart |
[ 9 x 2 x 05 x 8:44 am ] |
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Anyone past junior high knows it for a fact: females are highly verbal creatures. We love to talk, chat, gab, twitter, dish, and chatter. And you can win over your woman by taking advantage of that.
Short of "Don't you think five carats is a little small?," here's what you can say that will really make her swoon.
How Was Your Day?
Seems simple, doesn't it? But you'd be surprised how often you forget to ask. We need to vent about our evil troll of a boss or rejoice over snagging a super deal. Just don't let your eyes glaze over when we discuss our new shoe acquisitions.
Could You Help Me?
Women are nurturers by nature, so we're genetically programmed to want to take care of you. And we're flattered when you respect us enough to ask our advice how to ask for a raise or what color to paint the living room. Plus, we're suckers for guys who are man enough to admit when they need a hand.
Do You Need Anything?
We're not talking mundane, "rotate the tires on the car" favors here. In the words of Alec Baldwin's character in the movie Outside Providence: "Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It ain't over until you both get your cookies." Making sure she's satisfied won't win you extra points, but not doing it will cost you the game.
I Love How You...
'I love you's are nice, but a little generic. Spice up that sweet talk with something specific to her, like how she wiggles her feet when she's happy or the way she crinkles her nose when she laughs. We love hearing about the little idiosyncrasies that are cute or sexy to you.
Only You...
We like to feel unique...and that we are uniquely appreciated by you. So anytime you can say something along the lines of there being no one like us, we'll lap it up. Especially if you're trying to convince us that those five-carats look best on no one but us.
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